Four Years After the Fall
- Sep 23, 2020
- 3 min read
Author: Douglas Amend
Sept 24, 2020
Four years ago today, September 24th. Four years ago this morning, shortly after 10:00 AM, I lost my footing and slid several hundred feet down the Bend glacier on Broken Top. Over the edge, free-falling to bounce off the skree below and fracturing my spine. The story of what went on that day, and the several-month recovery that followed, is still being written. Today’s message is one of hope. After four years, I can now look back and recognize a devastating injury at the time is no longer devastating. Staring at my future from the hospital bed offered a limited perspective of the unknown. This is a bad combination. In my mind, I didn’t have the experience of recovery or could even fathom what my future would be. While I had injuries previously that were both uncomfortable and caused me to sit on life’s sidelines for a bit, this one seemed insurmountable at the time.
Now, looking back on my feelings of despair then, not so much now. I remember the pain, but I no longer feel the pain. I remember the fear of not doing all of the things I wanted, but today I do them all. People tell me I am lucky. I agree with them. Some are amazed that I bear no limitations, no limp, and appear normal. That’s OK. I appreciate their concern and interest. It’s not every day you bump into someone with a titanium vertebra, two rods, a plate, and twelve screws in the middle of their back. Someone that still plays beer league ice hockey. I carry a picture of the post-surgery x-ray on my phone for those who are in awe. The advancements in modern medicine defy description. The skills of the Surgical Team were exceptional.
The x-ray also serves as a reminder of how far I have come. When I woke up after surgery and first saw the x-ray, the fear of never being the same person quickly settled in. How could I know I would fully recover? I had never had spine surgery before. Broken bones and stitches, yes. This challenge was going to be large. I wanted to get back to enjoying life. Target that as the goal of my recovery. To focus not on the pain but the result while doing physical therapy. I found it perplexing when told the basic recovery plan for six months is do little to nothing. It was shared with me at first to extend the amount of walking I could do each day. Add more steps. Push yourself on that exercise. Over time, as I would begin to feel a little better, I was encouraged not to do anything more. If I thought I could lift something, don’t. If I felt I could jog or run, don’t do it. If I believed I was now recovered, stop. Until my Surgeon cleared me for any activity, it will only be walking. The spine is a finicky place to heal, and the words of caution given to me were code for “just let your body heal.”
“Please find a Mentor who has already walked the path and is willing to share the experience with you.”
When I pressed to understand this concept better, my Mentor explained as an example, that the cast does not heal a broken arm. What heals the broken arm is the body. The cast merely protects and limits the movement to allow the body to do its work. For me, it was six months in a back brace. And nine months using a bone growth stimulator each day for thirty minutes at the same scheduled time. I committed to let my body heal and to reap the rewards later.
In the beginning, it was difficult for me to see. Now it makes all the sense in the world to me. I have no limitations. I can do all of the activities that I wish to do. I see now that part of the disconnect stems from being told this information first by people that have not experienced the injury. When coming from medical professionals, unless they had the same injury and recovery, the message is lost in the situation’s pain. However, coming from someone who has traveled the path successfully, someone who knows the pain, knows the surgery, knows the recovery. That resonates. When they say “You will be fine” and follow it up with “If I can do it, you can do it.” Now you gain some confidence.
So, whatever challenge you have in front of you — consider seeking out someone who has successfully overcome the same obstacle for guidance. Please find a Mentor who has already walked the path and is willing to share the experience with you. You will be better for it. I know I sure was. And I hope you will be too.
